How old am I?

Last night was opening night for the Twilight movie. Vanessa put it best when she said "It's like a nation wide girls night out!" It's no secret that I am a total night owl so I was game for going to the 12:30 A.M. showing with 12 of my girlfriends. (Yes, that's A.M., as in thirty minutes after midnight)
The theater was an absolute NUTHOUSE! We drove around the parking lot looking for a parking space...AT MIDNIGHT! We finally found a "close" spot....exactly two spaces away from the very furthest from the theater. It was shoulder to shoulder people and we stood in line for twenty minutes just to get popcorn. The theater had a "pre party" that was Prom based, to coincide with the prom scene in the movie. High school girls were there in full-on prom attire. It was a riot! We settled into our seats, popcorn, 44 oz diet cokes, and chocolate in hand, and anticipated seeing the Cullens for the first time on the big screen. Cat calls, hollering, and crazy acting hormone filled grown women filled up the next two hours. After the movie, we stood around chatting, then I sat and talked to Dawn in the car when I took her home (We haven't had a chance to chat in a while), and when I "snuck" in the back door to my house, the clock said 4:34a.m. I felt like a high school kid myself, sneaking in past curfew. Of course, back in high school, I didn't have four little boys I had to get up with at 6:45a.m. When my alarm went off, I SWEAR I had just fallen asleep. Needless to say, I was a pretty useless mom today. I cleaned one room and attended Parent Teacher Conferences....that was the extent of my accomplishments. I suddenly was having flashbacks to my college days of a couple hours of sleep, followed by a 10 hour day in clinicals where I would take every opportunity to sneak into an empty exam room and suck on some O2 to try and get rid of my sleep deprivation headache. Today was torture on my old body..........and I'd do it again in a heartbeat! Anybody up for the midnight showing of Harry Potter next month???

Los Alamos, NM

In August, we loaded everybody up in the van and headed south to Los Alamos, NM. Home of the top secret government lab. My Uncle actually works there. All I know is he supervises 1400 people and that's all he can tell me.....or else he'd have to kill me. Although I'm pretty sure he's hiding a UFO in his backyard garden. The corn is so tall you can't see it, I'm convinced. We made the trip to attend his wedding, see my Grandma (who's health is failing), and get together with family members, some of whom I haven't seen since I was 16. I love when we get to spend time with Jerry, Kirsten and the boys. It doesn't happen often enough. Even though it was a short trip, it was worth the drive to spend time with family. Here's a few pics.

Happy Birthday, Logan!

The inevitable is happening. My baby is getting older. Last month (yes, I know I'm behind on posting) Logan turned two! In some ways I can't believe it's been two years, and in other ways it seems like an eternity ago that he joined our family. Logan's birthdays seem to be a raw and emotional time for me. Not necessarily because he's the baby, but because all that happened surrouding his birth. Not to sound dramatic, but most I still can't openly write about, as the tears will no doubtly make an appearance. But suffice it to say that his birth literally almost killed me(infections, hemorrhaging, pain, fluid in my belly,etc etc etc), Joel was unemployed, Logan screamed, and I do mean SCREAMED every minute he was awake, Reagan was going through a difficult time, and it was just a miserable time for everyone. Poor kid, I still have terrible mommy guilt that he missed out on being a baby for the first six months of his life. I don't feel like we had the opportunity to enjoy him the way we should have been able to enjoy our last little bambino.

But we sure do enjoy him now! Logan's truly a character and found his place rather quickly in this family of boys. He figured out early on that he had better be LOUD to be heard, and he had NO problem adjusting to that need. We used to think Eli was extremely loud, but he pales in comparison to his baby brother. Logan LOVES to laugh, and will repeat jokes he hears and bust out laughing at himself. His latest joke is "Your name? THROW UP!" It's a VERY condensed version, complete with wrong words, of a joke he hears his older brothers tell. Logan is definitely spoiled...not by Joel and I, but by his big brothers. They dote over him and basically give him the sun, the moon, and the stars. Whatever he wants. They want to match him in clothes, they want to draw his name for Christmas exchange, they want him to sleep in their beds, and they want to tote him around like he's their living cabbage patch kid......and it warms my heart to see it all happen. I love you to the moon and back, Logan!
Logan's Top Ten At Age Two (in no specific order)
1. "Daddyyyyyyyyy!"
2. Fire trucks
3. Books
4. Outside
5. His Blanket
6. His Duckie
7. Noah, Eli,and when they aren't home....Jack.
8. Cookies
9. The Honda
10.The Bathroom

Tidbits

It's been so long since I've posted, I have almost forgotten how! Why have I not posted in so long? A combination of things..... my computer won't even boot up, this means that I can't upload pictures or videos for my blog. Joel's computer doesn't have any photo editing software on it. Also, I had a TON of videos and pictures to post.....Daniel and Randu's visit and their performances, Elijah giving a detailed description on how the tooth fairy works, first day of school, etc etc etc. Aaaaaaand.....they all were MYSTERIOUSLY deleted. I'm absolutely SURE it has nothing to do with any of the four children in my house...yeah, I'm sure. I have some tidbits to post, some to catch up, some just so I don't forget them ten years down the road (or ten days down the road at my rate.)

---Our garden is growing! We have three pumpermelons. What are pumpermelons you ask? Well, it's what you get when you plant your pumpkins next to your watermelons and the bees cross-pollinate them. They are growing on the pupkin vine, are shaped like a pumpkin, but look mysteriously like a watermelon. Green, stripes, and all. I'm curious to see what the inside looks like. We've also grown several hot peppers, and when I say hot, I mean H O T! These things are not edible! I think I will dry them and send them to my dear sister to use in her pasole that she makes and gives to unsuspecting people in need. BAHAHAHA, I'm cracking myself up here! We have LOTS of roma tomatoes, some serrano chiles, and four cantaloupe. The boys are loving it and check on the garden every day. I think it may even get over watered after all of them take their turn at it.

---Here's a funny....Eli brought home his vocabulary words from the book they are reading. One of the words is "veil." Although he was pronouncing it "VILE." I corrected him and told him how it's pronounced to which he replied, "What's a veil, anyway?" I said "You know, brides wear them on top of their head, and...." He jumps in and says "OH YEAH! It hides their face and they wear them so the guy can't see who he's marrying and decide not to do it!" I laughed myself silly for a good ten minutes.

---Another funny: Jack being DEAD SERIOUS said to Joel "Daddy, what do you want to be for Halloween? You can be a piece of paper, a glass, OR you could be an END TABLE!" I suggested he be an end table with a piece of paper and a glass on top! Jack thought this was a grand idea. Joel.....not so much.

----Here's a confession: I stayed up until 1:30am researching the history of the tooth fairy in a believeable story that I could print off for Eli. I also wrote him a note from the tooth fairy because he left her a letter asking where she lives, if she has any brothers or sisters, and just how many teeth she collects in one night. I dunno, but my guess is that he's on to me. This reminds me that I need to go get his tooth out of my dirty pants pocket and throw it away before it gets re-discovered in the laundry.

----The boys had their "jog-a-thon" fundraiser today at school. I must precede my next statement by telling you that 5 laps = 1 mile. Noah ran TWENTY SEVEN laps, NON STOP. Maybe he'll be a track and field star? This kid amazes me and makes me realize how TERRIBLY out of shape I am.

----Tuesday was a sad, SAD day. We have come to the end of an era in the Nielsen Nuthouse. The crib. Our last baby has finally figured out how to escape his little "prison" as I like to call it. The bigs were at school, Jack was was at pre-school, and I was enjoying a quiet afternoon in the kitchen. Suddenly I hear a very happy "HI MOMMY!" It scared the crap out of me and when I looked up, there stood Logan with the proudest smile on his face. I was hoping it was a one time fluke....but no luck. He's shown off his new skill several times since then. He did last the longest though! All my other kids were climbing out at around 15-16 months.

----We got our carpets cleaned! YEA! While we were in New Mexico, Larry, being the great guy that he is came and cleaned the carpet in our entire house. We were being SO careful not to wear our shoes or barefeet on the carpet. Enjoying it's pristine condition.....then, the inevitable happened. Milo got sick. VERY sick. He threw up in EIGHT different places in the front room and hallway. But he was so sick we had to take him to the vet twice on emergency calls...so how could I be mad at him? Then, just for good measure, Logan topped it off by pooping in the living room. Aaaaah, I live SUCH a glamorous life!

R.I.P Common Sense

My Mom sent this to me in an e mail today I wanted to pass it on. Clever and true!

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,
only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the w ill to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was
promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim..

Not many attended his funeral, because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Our Guests

Here are "our" boys! We found out today that we will be hosting Daniel (10yrs) and Randu (11yrs). From what I have read, everyone falls in love with Daniel and he has a "cheeky" smile. His father is from the Giriama tribe in Kenya and is 4'10". Evidently, this tribe is very small in stature and so is Daniel. Randu has six siblings, and his brother is one of the drummers in the choir. His brother is only a year older than he is, and they look a lot alike. Because of this, they like to play pranks on their instructors regarding who is who. We are anxiously awaiting our guests!

The Singing Children Of Africa

We found out yesterday that we get to host two children from Africa for four days! They are coming to perform with their group "The Singing Children of Africa." A lot of them are orphans, all of them live in extreme poverty. Many live in mud huts. This is the very first time they have ever been to the US. Right now, they are in the UK doing some performances, then they come here on July 31. We are SO excited and know this will be a fantastic experience for everyone involved. I spoke with the coordinator and she told me that their favorite food is chicken and rice, or chicken and "chips" (fries). We got to request how many children we will host, their gender, and peferrable ages. This was my chance to balance the scales a little with some more girls in the house, but guess what.....I told them we would take two boys. I figured they would have a blast with my boys and vice versa. We are just so excited to experience all their new experiences here through their eyes. Running water, toilets, air conditioning! We are going to take them to the pool and water slides, and probably a good ol' American baseball game. What else would you do with them?
You can read about their program here. I'll post more info as I receive it!

I'm A Chesser Afterall!

Growing up, we spent nearly every Saturday during the summer at my Grandma and Grandpa Chesser's house working in their HUGE (1/2 acre) garden. We grew everything imaginable from lettuce, to green beans, to grapes. As an adult, I have never really had my Grandma's green thumb. I always claimed that gene seemed to skip over me. I can kill silk plants. Seriously, I can. My brother Jerry however, can stick a twig from a pussy willow tree in the back yard and two years later it's a full blown tree. (That is an honest to goodness true story) He SPITS in the ground and it grows. Of course, he's lived in Iowa and Nebraska, I live in Utah, where the only thing that grows well are rocks.
I have wanted to plant a garden for several years now. However, I have no desire to till up the ground or weed it constantly. My friend Mindy introduced me to the idea of "Square Foot Gardening" using homemade planter boxes. It's GENIUS! I must add that I have done this completely ALONE! Joel has made it perfectly clear that he will never, EVER help me with a garden, then rambled on about childhood scars from weeding blah blah blah. Read about his gardening musings here. Funny, the entire rest of his family doesn't remember it going down quite like he does, but I digress.
I bought the wood and made my boxes about six weeks ago. Then I made my own soil. (This is the key to no weeds) Thanks to Trisha, I finally planted them (she did one box, I did one) two weeks ago. Just TWO weeks ago. Almost one entire box was started from seeds. The other, from small plants. They are growing HUGE! I even have a bell pepper and a hot pepper growing already! When those little sprouts popped up out the soil, I was peeing my pants excited. It's like my new child. I'm out there every night, watering it, admiring it, beaming proud of my new born veggies. The boys are really excited about it too, although Jack likes to attack it with the hose a little too vigorously. We are growing Roma tomatoes, cilantro, yellow bell peppers, orange bell peppers, hot peppers, sweet basil, pumpkins, cantaloupe, watermelon, peas, carrots,zuchini, cuccumbers and green beans. ALL in this little space. Here's some pictures of my new pride and joy. Since Joel is so traumatically scarred from childhood gardening and is unable to muster up any excitement for me, I needed to share my pictures so somebody could share in my excitement! OH yeah, he'll wish he had helped as the boys and I eat my FRESH GROWN AND HOMEMADE Salsa this fall. "Chips and Salsa honey? OH! That's right, I'm sorry, you thought gardening was LAME." CRUNCH!

Reality Check

Last week as I walked in the door from work, I was greeted by the Smalls who had found their way into and helped themselves to my make-up drawer. I was hoping the mess would be contained to my bathroom. But alas, it was in my bathroom, down the hall, down the stairs, in the family room down stairs, smeared on the TV, etc etc etc. The worst part was the water proof mascara streaked all through Logan's VERY blonde hair. UG! (I took pictures to document this, but Jack got a hold of my camera yesterday and deleted everything on it, ARGH!) Anyway, I was telling my friend Deaun(whose youngest is 10) about this little "adventure" of the Smalls with great frustration. She replied with, "Well, just think, in a few years you will be through all these little adventures." I laughed and said "Yeah, people tell us we'll miss these days, but we are finding that hard to believe." She then told me that it's true, and that you don't miss the "adventures" as much as having kids that age. Suddenly it was like someone flipped on a light bulb in my head. It was my "Ah-ha" moment. I started thinking about how in THREE short years....just THREE years, our lives will be dramatically different! Noah will be 12, passing the Sacrament, going to the Temple, and starting Jr. High! Elijah will be older than Noah is now. Jack, will be Eli's age now and going to school all day long. And little Logan will be FIVE and starting Kindergarten! I will have no babies left at home! This suddenly made me very, VERY sad! It has truly inspired me to make the most of every day with them. We're letting some chores go and focusing on fun, Fun, FUN! So please excuse the mess if you drop by, I'm busy enjoying my boys at their tender young ages, messes and all! Thank you, Deaun!

Sweet, Sweet Summer

I love summer break! We are three weeks into June and enjoying every non-stressed minute of it! All the boys are home and it's all about having fun and family time. We get to sleep in until either a.) whenever we want or b.) Logan starts yelling all of our names to come get him out of bed. Then it's a low key morning of hot breakfasts and staying in our PJ's. Just this morning we had all four boys in our bed with us, wrestling around, tickling each other and constant laughter. I was in heaven. No dragging boys out of bed at O'dark thirty, no running around like chickens with our heads cut off in order to catch the bus, and no being home in time to meet the bus after school. Our days are filled with going to the swimming pool, meeting Aunt Reagan at the park, playing outside, riding bikes, etc etc etc. The freezer is stocked full of popsicles and frozen treats for the whole neighborhood. We are making yummy lunches and the boys are having a blast making treats with me in the kitchen. At lunchtime, I am feeding half my boys along with half the neighborhood, and other moms are feeding their kids and half my boys. We are grilling out nearly every night and getting together with friends. Jack and Gracie (the neighbor girl) are absolutely inseparable and are busy, Busy BUSY playing constantly. They wander back and forth from our house to theirs, grazing on snacks all day and playing in the circle. Bed time is when we absolutely can't hold up our heads for another minute of fun, or after we're done eating a huge bowl of parmesan popcorn and watching a movie together. THIS is what summer is all about. Wish it could last all year long.

99 Things About Me

Reagan's list on her blog inspired me and made me wonder if I could name 99 things about myself. Of course, some are more interesting than others, but here goes...

1. The Dr. told my Mom I was a boy (due to my heart rate). I was supposed to be “Jason James Chesser.” Aka “JJ”
2. My Dad chose my name, because he liked it and “Lisa” wasn’t very common…..HA!
3. I look a lot like my Mom and my brother, Jerry.
4. Jerry is an amazing person and I really wish my boys could grow up knowing him.
5. Noah is Jerry’s mini-me. He has the exact same personality and tastes and it makes me smile every day to know I have a part of my brother living in my home.
6. When I was little, I wanted blonde hair and blue eyes, and my name to be Cindy….as in Cindy Brady.
7. Now, you couldn’t pay me enough money to change my hair color.
8. I love the smell of Lilacs, Crayons, and Play-Doh, they remind me of my childhood.
9. I’d rather eat my Mom’s cooking than eat out.
10. I knew from the age of 4 that I wanted to do something in medicine when I grew up.
11. I was the 6th grade spelling bee champion.
12. My biggest fear as a child was my parents dying.
13. It’s still one of my biggest fears, because I know they love me unconditionally like nobody else does.
14. My favorite drink is Cran-Grape juice. Jordan Valley Hospital got me addicted to it after I had Noah.
15. I can only focus out of one eye at a time, and do not have 3-D vision.
16. One of my biggest dreams is to be in an F18 during a carrier landing. Yes, I know it will never happen, but I can dream!
17. Every night I lay in bed and think of all the ways I should have been a better mom that day.
18. I have never watched “Mary Poppins.”
19. I know my parent’s aren’t perfect, but I truly believe God blessed me with the best.
20. I hate ketchup, mayonaise & mustard.
21. I have a hard time relaxing.
22. Joel has taught me that there is an alternate solution to every problem.
23. Noah teaches me humility.
24. Eli teaches me to give of myself.
25. Jack teaches me humor.
26. Logan teaches me unconditional love.
27. I sucked my thumb (only while I slept) until I was a teenager.
28. Every 2nd child on my Dad’s side of the family is left handed, I’m my Dad’s 2nd child.
29. My feet are so big I usually have to buy men’s tennis shoes.
30. I want to go deep sea fishing.
31. My favorite food is bread.
32. My favorite dessert is regular ol’ birthday cake with buttercream frosting, the more frosting the better.
33. Since giving birth to Logan, I am suddenly allergic to bananas.
34. I learned to water ski at age 9, behind a john boat, in the Des Moines river.
35. My favorite place to be is my parent’s house on the Lake.
36. I gave up the flute because my band instructor made inappropriate comments to me. I wish I would have reported him, and kept playing.
37. I was an Iowa Math and Science Scholar and had my first two years of college paid for.
38. I hated History classes in High School and College.
39. Now I find history fascinating and wish I would have paid more attention.
40. I believe what matters most in this world is how you treat other people.
41. Relationships are extremely important to me.
42. I am completely comfortable if I have “average” kids.
43. What I want most is for them to be happy.
44. I wish I was better organized.
45. I danced ballet, tap, jazz and pointe for 15 years. (That was many, MANY pounds ago!)
46. My mom claims I was the only child she knew that never wanted band-aids for an “owie” or medicine when I was sick.
47. My Sr. prom date is now gay.
48. My husband makes me laugh a lot.
49. My weekend curfew in high school was 1:30 am. Are those some trusting parents or what?
50. After several months, I realized my parents never remembered me waking them up to tell them I was home at 1:30 am, so I started coming home whenever I wanted.
51. My brother used to pay me $5 to flush the toilet so my parents wouldn’t hear him sneak out the back door late at night.
52. Clowns creep me out.
53. I average 4 ½ hours of sleep a night.
54. I miss Iowa thunder storms.
55. I really don’t have any childhood scars.
56. “To Kill A Mockingbird” is my all time favorite book.
57. Joel used to write me hilarious love poems in college, I still have them.
58. The smell of ketchup gags me, I can smell it from the other end of the house.
59. However, I love barbecue sauce!
60. I remember Jacque and I greasing ourselves down with CRISCO to layout and sunbathe.
61. Jacque is by far the strongest person I know. If it’s true that God only gives you what you can handle, it speaks volumes for her. I adore, respect, and miss her.
62. I worry that my kids drive other people crazy.
63. I have some OCD tendencies.
64. I miss my friendship with Julie B and think about her often.
65. Joey and I could do a weekend in Chicago for $60 + gas when we were in college.
66. Chicago is my favorite big city.
67. I love my job and never dread going to it.
68. I’ve always thought it would be fun to work in a flower shop.
69. Growing up, we would take out of town visitors to Nauvoo, do the tour, the whole nine yards, but I was clueless about the Mormon Church. Ironic that I later joined it.
70. Once I saved a baby that was choking on an ice cube in Liberty Park on Pioneer Day.
71. I still love hugs from my Dad, and pep talks from my Mom.
72. I have a fear of prisons, yet I am not breaking the law.
73. Growing up, my mom always told me my mouth would get me in trouble.
74. I was once punched in the face by Jacque’s ex-boyfriend and knocked out. (Please refer to #73)
75. I spent half my weekends at my Aunt Bev’s house. She let me make mud pies, paint things, and go through her jewelry box.
76. I hope I can be as good and fun of an Aunt to my nieces and nephews as Aunt Bev was to me.
77. Some nights, Joey and I lay in bed talking and laughing hysterically into the early morning hours. We’ve even been known to wake up the kids from laughing so loud.
78. I could easily go without a TV.
79. When I was 8 months pregnant with Noah, I put new brakes on my Honda by myself.
80. I love a good challenge.
81. Although sometimes I feel like God takes that previous statement WAY too serious.
82. I know the Gospel is perfect, and people in it are not.
83. When it comes to the Gospel, I believe that often times people get too caught up in the letter of the law and miss the entire spirit of the law.
84. Every year on Noah’s birthday, I cry.
85. Every day I laugh a lot.
86. When it comes to cleaning products and toiletries, I will only buy certain brands.
87. If time, money, and child care were no object, I would go to culinary school.
88. I was accepted to PA school in Washington, then found out I was pregnant with Noah a week later and gave up my spot.
89. The six months after Logan’s birth was the darkest and hardest time of my life.
90. The feelings from that time still haunt me.
91. It’s difficult for me to ask for help of any kind.
92. I stink at being the tooth fairy, I have forgotten FOUR times!
93. My Grandma Chesser visited me the day after she passed away. Then again about seven months later. She was young looking, beautiful and had perfect skin. This was not a dream.
94. I can juggle.
95. I often times have great ideas and poor follow through.
96. When there are no other adults in the car, I sing along with the radio REALLY loud.
97. There are many skills I still want to learn: gardening, photography, baking, upholstery, sewing and foreign languages to name a few.
98. I always cheer for the underdog.
99. When I was four, all but a corner of my bottom lip had to be sewn back on.
100. I felt a great need to name 100 things instead of 99 (Please see # 63)

Quote Of The Week

While eating dinner last night of pizza and garlic cheese bread, Jack announced....."When I eat garlic bread, it's like a party in my mouth!"

Noah's Got Talent!

Today was the 24th Annual 3rd Grade Talent Show. When I got the notice about it (YESTERDAY) I asked Noah what he was going to do. He replied "Nothing, I don't really have any talents." This made me SO sad! If I could borrow a small fraction of Eli's self confidence and transfer it over to Noah, it would do wonders for him. I said "What about the piano?" He suddenly looks up with huge eyes and says "OH YEAH!" As if he had fogotten that he now takes piano lessons. I took the smalls and headed to the school, and it was well worth wrestling Logan the whole time. SUCH a riot! Most of the "performances" were 9 year old girls ad libbing dances to a random song they chose five minutes before. Or doing "cheers" for the crowd. Or their version of gymnastics. Complete entertainment. Out of all the third grade, Noah was one of four boys that performed! He has had a whopping eight piano lessons and this is the piece he played for his piano recital last week. Since I forgot the camera then, I thought I would post this one. Sorry for the shaky picture, I was holding Logan in the other arm and trying to keep Jack next to me at the same time. Enjoy!

Spring Pictures

Grandma and Grandpa came to visit for the bigs' birthdays. Grandma had pictures taken so I thought I would share. Enjoy!

Sam I Am

April is the month for birthdays in the Nielsen family. This year alone, we have now added two more! Samuel Richard Crane was delivered via c-section on April 24. He is our newest Sumo wrestler and weighed in at a hefty 8lb. 10oz. Poor Katrina! As you can see, he is absolutely ADORABLE! That dark, dark curly hair absolutely melts me. As his Uncle Logan put it, the Cranes now have Salt (Benjamin), Pepper (Sam), and Cinnamon(Abigail). A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead! I don't think you could put in an order better than how that turned out! Katrina had gestational diabetes with this pregnancy and was SO good to follow her special diet. She's a self proclaimed chocoholic, so that makes it even harder. I know I couldn't have done it. But look at her! Doesn't she look fantastic?! Matthew and Katrina have anticipated this third baby for a long time. I definitely think he was worth the wait! We get to go spend time with them next month when they will bless him. Congrats! And thanks for the gorgeous nephew!

OH YEAH! I've improved!

289 words

Speedtest

Observation

As I was looking over my blog today, I realized something. That picture of me, right over there on the right. Yeah, I've seen it hundreds of times, it's the same picture that is on my IM's too. Anyway, I'm standing close to a sign on our wall that says "Home is where your story begins." However, I just realized today that it is over my head and says "HO." How come nobody points these things out to me? I feel like Elaine on Seinfeld when she sent out the Christmas cards with her picture and she didn't realize she was exposing herself in it. Oh well, everybody's seen my "Ho" picture now....I'm leaving it.
Love,
Your Local Ho

Finger Exercises

118 words

Speed test

I got this from Reagan's blog. Joey and I did this test several months ago, because he was claiming that he typed so much faster than me. HA! I kicked his trash, by like thirty some words a minute. Who? Me? Competitive? Naaaah......only with Joey when he makes a claim that I KNOW isn't true. Take it and post your results!

House Call

Last Thursday was the first day of Spring Break for the Bigs. Aaaaah. I get to sleep in. For three blissful weeks, I don't have to wake up when it's still dark, and try to drag kids out of bed and get them ready. I was SO looking forward to sleeping in on Thursday.........then along came Jack.

Jack enters my room at 6:30 am. I hear him, and feel him climb up on my bed, but keep my eyes closed. Jack leans over me and starts talking to me. I ignore him. Jack repeats. I ignore some more, and keep my eyes closed. I'm hoping if he realizes I'm not answering, he'll go back to bed. After playing this charade for a good fifteen minutes, I realize that I'm crazy. He's not going to shut up and go back to bed! WHY would I think he would go back to bed? Of COURSE he wakes me up early on the first day of break. I resign myself to getting up, and sit up in bed, to which Jack responds with "OOOOH MOM! YOU AWAKE!" I mumble something back under my breath, grab a tissue and blow my nose. Then I start coughing. Jack leans over in my lap and says "Mom, you got a cold? Or you got a hot?" I close my eyes, shake my head back and forth, to clear my ears, and say "What?" Again he repeats it..."You got a cold? Or you got a hot?" I look at him and start laughing. He says "Here, let me see" He then grabs my arm, puts his hand on it, feels it for a few seconds, literally THROWS my arm back down and says "Yep, you got a hot"

So, I guess my early morning wasn't a waste after all. Not only did I get a "wake up call" from a three year old, but I also got a house call and was diagnosed with "a hot." I'd better stop taking that cold medicine.....evidently I've been treating myself all wrong.

WHAT did he say? Part II

Elijah was assigned to give a talk in Primary this week for Easter Sunday. We prepared a great object lesson complete with Easter eggs. He chose five kids to come to the front and gave them all a plastic egg. He instructed them not to open it until he told them to. Then, Eli built up about what is probably inside their eggs. "Do you think it's candy? It's probably candy, because that's what we get in Easter eggs. I can't WAIT to eat the candy." After a minute or two of build up, he had them open their eggs, to find.....(drum roll please)..... absolutely nothing. He then went on to talk about how Easter is when we celebrate the empty tomb of Christ. That even in "emptiness" we can find "sweetness" by overcoming death through him. He did a great job, with just one little hitch...
We had went through his talk three times in the morning. He always got hung up on the word "crucified" and would ask me what it was. After three times, I figured when he got to that word during his talk, he may pause, but would remember what it was quickly. Boy was I wrong! Instead, this is how that part went:

"Jesus' friends took his body and placed it in a tomb after he was CIRCUMSIZED."

(Yes, that's supposed to read "CRUCIFIED")

I let out an audible gasp and blurt out "CRUCIFIED, THAT'S CRUCIFIED, ELI!" Eli reads on, oblivious to what he had just said. Every adult in there was laughing so hard they were wiping away tears. Most of the kids were clueless, except for the older ones, who were snickering and repeating it back and forth to each other. All in all, it probably took second place to his prayer a few months ago, complete with swearing. (Please see post titled "WHAT did he say?")

He spoke clearly, he spoke slowly, and he delivered his one liner like a professional comedian. He, of course wasn't trying to be funny. However, I think maybe we should start selling tickets to sharing time whenever Eli has to take his turn at the microphone. Hope it gave you a laugh too!

Just Another Week In Paradise

It's been a crazy week here at the Nielsen Nuthouse, but then again, that's basically the norm. I picked up a couple extra shifts at work, and last weekend was my regular weekend to work also. So this means, I was gone a lot of evenings in the past week. When I am gone a lot at night, I usually have a week's worth of "surprises" waiting for me. It's just a matter of time before I find them all.

Surprise #1- It was the last week for the "Box Tops For Education" fund raiser at the Bigs' school. This means we were tearing off Betty Crocker box tops in everything that was in the pantry. After all.....the winning class gets an ice cream party and evidently that's a HUGE deal. Campbell's soup labels are also worth money, but I only had a few soups that were actually Campbell's and call me crazy, but I'm not too keen on having label-less cans in the pantry . So I helped the boys gather up the box tops and we divided them evenly for them to take to their classes. After being gone several nights, one morning I walked into the pantry to get something. When I glanced over at the "soup shelf", there were about three dozen soup cans staring at me, and glistening in all their NAKED glory. I immediately call Eli into the kitchen, because if you know Eli, you automatically know that this was an Eli type of job. He comes bounding into the kitchen "Yeah, Mom?" I walk him into the pantry and simply point to all the naked cans. He gets this HUGE smile on his face and says "I KNOW! Can you believe we forgot all of those! I think my class is going to win now!" I respond "Well, OK, but first of all, they have to be Campbell's labels and second of all, how am I supposed to know what's INSIDE the cans now?" Eli's jaw drops open, his eyes get big and he says "Oh, I didn't really think about that." So the next day, I delivered three dozen label-less cans to the food pantry to help needy families. I figure it's kind of like a lottery ticket.....they won't know what they have until it's opened. On my way home, I stopped at the store and spent a small fortune to restock my pantry with canned goods. Which brings me to......

Surprise #2- After working my weekend shifts, again, I walk into the pantry one morning and notice that there are not many cans on the bottom two shelves. Funny, I JUST restocked those. Then I think for a minute and figure my family must have went on a soup fest over the weekend while I was at work. Six meals, five males, that makes for a lot of soup. So I shrug it off and make a mental note to once again, stop at the store and restock my soups. Fast forward three hours when I notice that the garbage is full and I need to take it out. I untuck the top of the bag from the can, pull up on the drawstrings and....NOTHIN'! It doesn't budge. I make a second attempt and really give it my all. The only thing that happens is the bag stretches, and the drawstrings rip through it. Lovely. I bend down to just pick up the whole can and carry it outside to dump, and about give myself a hernia. This thing weighs a metric ton! I lift a few papers and tissues off the top, to see a giant mound of canned goods, thrown into the garbage can. Not open, complete with labels, just tossed in there. The garbage is literally filled with all the cans that were within Logan's reach. I "unpack" the garbage, and again, restock my pantry with canned goods. I then make a mental note to purchase a retina scanner to install on the pantry door for access. I'm getting serious now. On to......

Surprise #3-I then head downstairs to check my e mail. Our office is off of a large room that is basically without purpose. So, it became our food storage room. We have about six sets of shelves and our deep freeze in there. Logan likes to go "shopping" in the food storage room, and help himself to any item he can reach. This explains a lot when I turn the corner into the office to see powdered sugar ALL over the desk, both computers, the printer, three office chairs, the carpet, and anything else that has a horizontal surface. By this time, I am standing with my toes over my mental cliff. I look at the five pounds of powdered sugar again, turn off the light, and walk back upstairs. Sometimes, I just have to wait to deal with things, and this was one of those times. Instead, I got in the van and wandered the aisles of Target to find my "inner peace." Aaaah the joys of retail therapy.

The Grandaddy of them all...Surprise #4- Last night when I tucked Jack into bed, his room REAKED. I briefly looked around for one of Logan's old diapers that got left in there, but didn't see anything. This morning when I went into his room, the stench was still there, and it was BAD. I KNEW it was an old diaper that was hiding somewhere. I begin to tear apart his room, because the smell is starting to make my eyes water. I pull the bed out, I tear the bed apart, I look in the closet, in the dirty clothes basket, in the toy baskets. NOTHING. I know I have a sensitive nose, but this thing HAS to be found, it's potent and down right nasty. I get down on my hands and knees and start smelling areas of the carpet for lack of anything else to check. My nose leads me to the heating vent. I pull it out of the floor, look down the duct where I find.......POOP! Yes, HUMAN POOP in the ventilation duct in Jack's room. I yell "JACK? DID YOU POOP IN HERE?" "No!" he says and then runs off and hides in my closet. What on EARTH would posess a three year old to do this? To make a long story short, Jack confessed, is grounded from TV, and spent the rest of the morning in his room, wearing a diaper. I told him if he doesn't know where to go to the bathroom that he has to go back to wearing diapers. Ten minutes with a diaper on was all it took for him to be remorseful. I spent over an hour cleaning out the heating duct. Nothing like poop that has had hot air blowing on it all night long to freshen up a bedroom. I can't even begin to tell you how gross it was cleaning it out. Then, in the middle, the heat kicked on and I was getting blasted in the face and hair with poop scented hot air. Oh, the glories of being a mom to toddlers. I just kept thinking of what Joel asks me...."So... when we were making out on the football field at the University of Iowa, did you EVER imagine it leading to THIS?" No. No I did not. Good thing love blinds us to the suprises that lie ahead! I'm assured by every grandparent that we will look back on these days and miss them. So, I am inviting all parents of grown children to come have a day of surprises at my house. I'll even supply the rubber gloves and lysol. Any takers?

Primary Colors

Being from the Midwest, we've basically lived away from family for the past 13 years. So we are always happy when there is a sibling attending BYU. It makes us feel like we aren't the Lone Rangers out here. So when Reagan and Allen moved to SLC for a job Allen took after college, we were excited to have family just down the road. This means that I get to be a part of my niece's lives while they are little, and vice-versa. This makes my boys extremely happy, since they can always count on their Uncle Allen to play games like....swing the nephews around in the bottom of a sleeping bag, or make "nephew sandwiches" out of the couch cushions. They also know that when Aunt Reagan is here, there are sure to be lots of laughs and she will ALWAYS find their bathroom humor hilarious. I mean, what can be cooler than an Aunt that laughs at your "poo" joke while your mom is staring you down with dirty looks from the other side of the room? So when Reagan came through the door at dinner time one night, my boys were excited to see her and have her stay. Joel wasn't home and Aunt Reagan comfortably slides into the entertainment chair during dinner time. She said she had already eaten, but she'll play a "game" with them while they eat.

I dish up everybody's plates, and we sit down. Reagan returns to the table with a bowl of water and a tablespoon. She then says "OK, who wants to play SPLASH with me?" My boys are jumping up and down in their seats, waving their hands in the air "I DO, I DO!" While I am looking at her thinking "A game called splash with a bowl full of water at the dinner table....WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" She goes on to explain that there are four rounds to the game. She will ask a question and then you go around the table, as fast as you can, trying to guess the answer. If you get the answer right, you get a spoonful of water splashed in your face. My boys have smiles on them like Cheshire cats. I am now looking at her with my mouth open and eyes the size of our dinner plates. She starts off by saying "I'm thinking of a family member.....who is it?" My boys start shouting out answers..."AUNT KATRINA! UNCLE LOGAN! GRANDMA!" Reagan stops the game to explain that we have to go around the table and take turns, but go as FAST as we can. I am then told that I am expected to participate. We start up again, Noah and Eli are giving legitimate answers such as "ABIGAILl" and "UNCLE JERRY." While I am trying to think of the farthest removed relative I possibly have..."My Grandma Frieda's half sister? No? Oh dang!" Jack on the other hand is clueless as to how this game is played and he is just jumping up and yelling out ANYTHING when Reagan points to him. "MICKEY MOUSE!" and "LITTLE EINSTEINS!" were among his answers. Finally Noah shouts out "UNCLE MATTHEW!" and quickly gets a tablespoon of water in his face. My boys erupt into hysterics and think this is the best game since Twister. They are just DYING to get the water in their face. I don't know who is laughing harder at this point, Noah, Eli and Jack, or Reagan. On to round two......

Reagan says "I'm thinking of an number between 1 & 20." Again, we go around the table at lightning speed and I'm giving answers like "3.14?" Soon, Noah yells out "6" and again gets water in his face. Eli is visibly disappointed that he didn't get it and begs Aunt Reagan to splash him too. Dinner has quickly become a non-existent event as everybody is vying to be the "winner."

"Ding-Ding" Round 3: Reagan announces "I'm thinking of a color." Now, for whatever reason, nobody can get this one. Of course, I'm yelling out answers like "PERIWINKLE" and "CHARTREUSE." While Noah and Eli are giving the standard "RED!", "YELLOW!" and "BLUE!" answers. Then there's Jack, who again is making no sense and yelling out "TRIANGLE" and "COOKIES" when Aunt Reagan's finger flies around and points to him. We were speeding around the table so fast with our answers, I think he just wanted to blurt out SOMETHING. We go around a couple more times, then Reagan points to Jack, he jumps up in his chair and yells at the top of his lungs "PENIS!" We all stop and look at each other while this registers in our minds. I'm thinking "Did he just say PENIS?" After about 5 seconds, we all decide that Yes, that is what he said and we erupt into laughter. This of course, eggs Jack on even more. So now he's repeatedly standing up in his chair yelling "PENIS! PENIS! PENIS!" Now all control is lost and every time he yells it, we are laughing harder and harder. Reagan has tears rolling down her cheeks, I am crossing my legs to prevent an accident, and Noah and Eli are literally on the floor rolling around. After five minutes of hysterics, Reagan somewhat gains her composure and announces "I'm sorry Jack, 'penis' is NOT the color I'm thinking of."

Naturally, this scenario gets played back over and over again in our house for several days aftwerwards, thanks to Noah and Eli. They tell each other the story again and again, as if the other one wasn't there. They tell their friends, and anybody else who visits our house, including our home teachers from Church. When I ask a question like "What color of fruit roll up do you want in your lunch?" Eli replies "Hmmm, how about....... PENIS?" BAHAHAHA more uncontrollable laughter. At first I tried to tame it, then I came to realize that I am stuck listening to humor like this for at least the next 18 years. It comes with having all boys. When I asked my pediatrician several years ago what to do to stop all the "potty" humor, he laughed and replied "There is no stopping it. Anything with the words "pee," "poo," "fart," and "butt" will always be hilarous to them. I'd like to tell you it's a phase, but in all honesty, you'll be lucky if it stops by the time they get married."

All I have to say is I hope that "penis" isn't the new hot color this Spring.

Super Tuesday

I got up at O'dark thirty this morning and left to go vote before Joel went to work. There I was, looking stellar in my sweat pants that I snatched up off the floor and the sweatshirt I wore to run on the treadmill the day before. Not to mention my slept on hair, that is quite scary when I go to bed with it wet. However, I didn't need to worry, because I was the ONLY person there. Seriously, I couldn't believe it. Last time I voted in November, I waited in line for 40 minutes, and that was just a local election. Evidently, everybody figured Mitt had it in the bag, and nobody bothered to brave the cold to go to their polling site. When I got there, they asked my name and looked me up in the huge book of voters. The lady then says "Oh! You're registered as an independent." I confirm her observation and look at her quizzically because she obviously had SOME reason to bring that up. She goes on to say that this is a party based election, and if I want to vote Republican, I must officially declare myself a Republican. However, I have no interest in declaring myself affilliated with ANY political party. I've been registered as Independent since I was 18, and I'm not changing it now because of some LAME-O Utah law. So I ask...."And what if I wanted to vote Democratic?" She says "You don't have to declare yourself a Democrat to vote Democratic." I say "Good! We all know Mitt has everything wrapped up here so I'm voting for Obama in an attempt to keep Hillary out of the White House." I thought the guy sitting next to her was going to fall out of his chair laughing. After several minutes of laughing and coughing, he holds up his hand and says "Ya know, we're not allowed to say anything, but I'm REALLY wishing I could chime in with you right now." So, I gave him a laugh AND did my civic duty, all before the sun was up. What a productive morning!

An Amazing Man

Last night I was at work, when our clerk came back and told us that she just heard President Hinckley had passed away. "WHAT? What did you say?" I couldn't believe it! Yes, I know he was 97 years old, but like my Grandpa Chesser, I expected him to live forever. What an amazing man he was. I adored his sense of humor. What he did to bring the Church forward in the public eye is unmatched by any other. His many interviews with Mike Wallace, Larry King, and others really educated the nation about Mormonism. Suddenly, it wasn't this odd religion anymore. I have such love for him. When I would listen to him speak and he would say "I love you brothers and sisters"....I truly felt that he did. He counseled tolerance between all people over and over again. On the news last night, they interviewed leaders of other faiths concerning his death. It was amazing to see these leaders of the Jewish, Baptist, and Catholic faiths, that all said "I considered him a good friend and a great man. He meant what he said. He did wonderful things for all people all over the world. He was a great humanitarian." He will be missed, but I have no doubt that he is blissfully happy, walking side by side with Majorie once again.....probably still cracking jokes about how old he lived to be.

Cabin Fever

A few days after Christmas, we left with the Bush's to spend four days in a cabin above Heber City. The cabin belongs to one of the Docs Trisha works with, and he's such a good guy that he lets anybody use it, free of charge. We couldn't wait to get out of the city and play for four days. We have been planning this for months, and it was a surprise for all the boys. Yes.....ALL the boys....all EIGHT of them. With our family and theirs, we have eight boys, the oldest who is nine years old. It's loud, it's crazy, and it's chaotic when they are all together, but above all, it's fun. We were told we would need a four wheel drive or snowmobiles to get up to the cabin, so we planned on taking Joel's truck. The good ol' 1972 chevy that has as much rust as it does paint. But it's reliable, and will haul all our crapola and firewood! AND above all....it will get us up the mountain. So, late Saturday afternoon, we set off for the mountains. The Bush's in their mini-van, Joel and the three oldest boys in his truck, and me and baby Logan in Whitney's little Honda, which believe it or not, gets around great in the snow!

Of course, we planned on leaving at about 2pm....but let's get real here, we're traveling with eight children, so we actually started up the canyon at 5pm....just as it's getting dark. NO PROBLEM! However, it started snowing halfway up the canyon....hmmmm this could make it interesting. We follow the directions, and there is constant chatter back and forth on the two way radios between the three cars. It's obvious that the adults are just as hyper and excited about our little trip as the kids are. When we finally get to the "unpaved" portion of the trip, we decide that all three vehicles will go as far as they can. Then, Joel will hook up the tow strap, and help us up the mountain when needed and we'll get all three vehicles to the cabin. I did great in the Honda, as long as I maintained my speed. We were all poking fun of the signs posted all over that say things like "WARNING! CHAINS REQUIRED" or "4X4 VEHICLES ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT". We were SO much smarter.....we were going to get a hatchback Honda and a mini van up that mountain. However, reality set in as I was the first to get stuck. Then while trying to get unstuck, the car slid around and went nose first into a snowbank. Logan found this to be great fun, and in all honesty, so did I! Joel pulled me out, and I made it another 200 hundred yards to where the Bush's couldn't make it any farther in their van, and we both pulled off into a little parking area. Joel and Larry jumped in the truck and went a few more miles up the road to check out the cabin, and look things over before we all bombarded it. Then they came back, Larry waited with Trish and some kids, and Joel helped me up the mountain. The amount of snow up there was CRAZY. In areas where it wasn't plowed, it was literally as deep as Eli is tall. We made it up to the cabin, and Joel went back down the mountain to get the Bush's. I unloaded the Honda, fed the kids that were with me, and we waited, and waited, and waited........

Finally Larry comes through the door and with a sigh of relief I say, "There you guys are! I was getting worried" He smiles that million dollar smile of his and says "Joel's truck broke down." Now, Larry likes to joke around, so I completely think he is pulling my leg. "yeah, whatever." I say. He looks at me (still smiling) "No, really, it did, the engine threw a rod." Now, I'm no mechanic, but I KNOW this is bad. I look at Larry, still doubting him somewhat and ask "Then how did YOU get up here?" He replies "I hitchhiked and caught a ride on the back of a snowmobile." Now I KNOW he's yankin' my chain and I bound over to the door to go help everyone unload the truck and van, but guess what.....nobody else is outside. Larry is telling the truth! To make a very long story short, the neighbors in the cabin across the road drove Larry back down the mountain, and pulled Trish and the kids up in the van, and gave Larry and Joel a ride back.

We decide we're not going to let this spoil our trip and oh well! At least we have two other cars we can use when all this is said and done. We have a fabulous time for four days, playing non-stop. We go sledding, gorge ourselves with food, have the hot chocolate machine running constantly, movies playing, playing games, and the adults were known to play the Bush's new Wii until 3 am every night. My arm is STILL recovering from playing doubles tennis all night long and kicking Joel and Trish's cans. Oh yes, Larry and I were an awesome tennis team. Never mind the fact that we were playing in such a small area that every time I swung my arm back for my forehand, I racked Larry. Poor guy, he started playing on his knees to avoid further injury. Needless to say, we had a FABULOUS time.

Then Tuesday came, the day to go home. We suddenly thought to ourselves...."How are we going to get home?" Even if we had cars able to get down the mountain unassisted, we didn't have enough room for everybody! We called our dear friend John and explained our little situation. I can still hear the tone of his voice when he asked me over the phone "So let me get this right.....you took your HONDA and a MINI-VAN to go up to this cabin? Are you serious?" I suddenly felt like a little kid explaining to my dad some really brainless thing I had just done. So John drove his truck all the way up and rescued us off the mountain. And man, did he come prepared.....snowshoes, cross country skies, cold weather survival equipment....I think he thought he was getting us down from Mt. Everest. Bless his heart, he saved the day. Joel's truck stayed up there another three days before we could tow it home, which is another story in and of itself. I'll spare you though. Was it worth the cost of a new engine? YES! I mean, when you put four feet of snow together with a compact car, a mini- van, a "rescue" 4x4 truck, and some of your favorite people, it doesn't get much more fun than that! We would do it again in a heartbeat.......just with different vehicles next time.

Bear with me....

OK, I know it's been an eternity (again) since I've posted. I have LOTS of things to post about, including Christmas, New Year's at the cabin with the Bush's, getting stranded on the mountain of said cabin, a trip to Phoenix to visit the Crane's, etc etc etc. Tonight, I am trying to get out the door to go to NYC and spend four days with Joel.........BY OURSELVES. Yes it's true, a "no minors" vacation if you would like to call it that. Joel is actually there for a job interview and we are extending the trip to vacation by ourselves. It's a first in almost nine years. Oh yes, what a pathetic life we live. Ok, maybe not pathetic, but definitely one filled with kids! I am currently trying to clean my house enough that Reagan can actually see the floor to walk on it when she comes tonight to stay with the boys. So bear with me.....I will post soon. I'm hoping to have some time in NYC to do it......imagine....getting on the computer WHENEVER I want....aaaaaah the life of luxury. We'll catch up soon, I promise!