Being from the Midwest, we've basically lived away from family for the past 13 years. So we are always happy when there is a sibling attending BYU. It makes us feel like we aren't the Lone Rangers out here. So when Reagan and Allen moved to SLC for a job Allen took after college, we were excited to have family just down the road. This means that I get to be a part of my niece's lives while they are little, and vice-versa. This makes my boys extremely happy, since they can always count on their Uncle Allen to play games like....swing the nephews around in the bottom of a sleeping bag, or make "nephew sandwiches" out of the couch cushions. They also know that when Aunt Reagan is here, there are sure to be lots of laughs and she will ALWAYS find their bathroom humor hilarious. I mean, what can be cooler than an Aunt that laughs at your "poo" joke while your mom is staring you down with dirty looks from the other side of the room? So when Reagan came through the door at dinner time one night, my boys were excited to see her and have her stay. Joel wasn't home and Aunt Reagan comfortably slides into the entertainment chair during dinner time. She said she had already eaten, but she'll play a "game" with them while they eat.
I dish up everybody's plates, and we sit down. Reagan returns to the table with a bowl of water and a tablespoon. She then says "OK, who wants to play SPLASH with me?" My boys are jumping up and down in their seats, waving their hands in the air "I DO, I DO!" While I am looking at her thinking "A game called splash with a bowl full of water at the dinner table....WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" She goes on to explain that there are four rounds to the game. She will ask a question and then you go around the table, as fast as you can, trying to guess the answer. If you get the answer right, you get a spoonful of water splashed in your face. My boys have smiles on them like Cheshire cats. I am now looking at her with my mouth open and eyes the size of our dinner plates. She starts off by saying "I'm thinking of a family member.....who is it?" My boys start shouting out answers..."AUNT KATRINA! UNCLE LOGAN! GRANDMA!" Reagan stops the game to explain that we have to go around the table and take turns, but go as FAST as we can. I am then told that I am expected to participate. We start up again, Noah and Eli are giving legitimate answers such as "ABIGAILl" and "UNCLE JERRY." While I am trying to think of the farthest removed relative I possibly have..."My Grandma Frieda's half sister? No? Oh dang!" Jack on the other hand is clueless as to how this game is played and he is just jumping up and yelling out ANYTHING when Reagan points to him. "MICKEY MOUSE!" and "LITTLE EINSTEINS!" were among his answers. Finally Noah shouts out "UNCLE MATTHEW!" and quickly gets a tablespoon of water in his face. My boys erupt into hysterics and think this is the best game since Twister. They are just DYING to get the water in their face. I don't know who is laughing harder at this point, Noah, Eli and Jack, or Reagan. On to round two......
Reagan says "I'm thinking of an number between 1 & 20." Again, we go around the table at lightning speed and I'm giving answers like "3.14?" Soon, Noah yells out "6" and again gets water in his face. Eli is visibly disappointed that he didn't get it and begs Aunt Reagan to splash him too. Dinner has quickly become a non-existent event as everybody is vying to be the "winner."
"Ding-Ding" Round 3: Reagan announces "I'm thinking of a color." Now, for whatever reason, nobody can get this one. Of course, I'm yelling out answers like "PERIWINKLE" and "CHARTREUSE." While Noah and Eli are giving the standard "RED!", "YELLOW!" and "BLUE!" answers. Then there's Jack, who again is making no sense and yelling out "TRIANGLE" and "COOKIES" when Aunt Reagan's finger flies around and points to him. We were speeding around the table so fast with our answers, I think he just wanted to blurt out SOMETHING. We go around a couple more times, then Reagan points to Jack, he jumps up in his chair and yells at the top of his lungs "PENIS!" We all stop and look at each other while this registers in our minds. I'm thinking "Did he just say PENIS?" After about 5 seconds, we all decide that Yes, that is what he said and we erupt into laughter. This of course, eggs Jack on even more. So now he's repeatedly standing up in his chair yelling "PENIS! PENIS! PENIS!" Now all control is lost and every time he yells it, we are laughing harder and harder. Reagan has tears rolling down her cheeks, I am crossing my legs to prevent an accident, and Noah and Eli are literally on the floor rolling around. After five minutes of hysterics, Reagan somewhat gains her composure and announces "I'm sorry Jack, 'penis' is NOT the color I'm thinking of."
Naturally, this scenario gets played back over and over again in our house for several days aftwerwards, thanks to Noah and Eli. They tell each other the story again and again, as if the other one wasn't there. They tell their friends, and anybody else who visits our house, including our home teachers from Church. When I ask a question like "What color of fruit roll up do you want in your lunch?" Eli replies "Hmmm, how about....... PENIS?" BAHAHAHA more uncontrollable laughter. At first I tried to tame it, then I came to realize that I am stuck listening to humor like this for at least the next 18 years. It comes with having all boys. When I asked my pediatrician several years ago what to do to stop all the "potty" humor, he laughed and replied "There is no stopping it. Anything with the words "pee," "poo," "fart," and "butt" will always be hilarous to them. I'd like to tell you it's a phase, but in all honesty, you'll be lucky if it stops by the time they get married."
All I have to say is I hope that "penis" isn't the new hot color this Spring.
9 comments:
ROTFL Oh man. This is hilarious. Boys make life interesting, don't they.
oh Lis....sometime I wish I could just be a fly on the wall at the Nielsen's house =) I miss you all wayyyyy too much!!!!
Ok, why does this not surprise me? The funny thing is that I bet he was SOOO happy with himself. I mean, he stopped the game and gave terrific amusement to his whole family. You know what, you've only taught him to say penis from now on if he ever wants to get attention and a reaction like that again. And let's hope I'm there the next time!!
Also, I would like you to know that at the last Bunco night I DID eat tons of food. (Reagan said you were worried I didn't like your food) I actually ate my weight in your veggie pizza. AND I would've had more, but I felt somewhat self-conscious that I was the only one eating it CONTINUOUSLY. Also, I had a giant bread bowl and lots of chili. (I had to take a lot of the chili because I picked out all the beans) Remember? I asked you for a bowl so I could get more? Ahhh, delicious. Looking forward to another Bunco night and another plate of food
HA HA HA HA HA HAAHAH!!! That really was sooooo incredibly funny. This little boy with big brown eyes, and innocence written across his adorable little face...just YELLED PENIS AT THE TABLE. Classic, I loved it. I feel so special to be the center of your latest post! Yah, I like potty humor way too much. I think I was supposed to be a boy, but I would have been a very gay boy, so I got switched to girl status.
P.S. I don't think penis would be a bad color at all! I think it would be kind of pink and brown and it would smell like urine.
Oh my funny!!!! I read this while at work and I had to be able to control my laughter not to draw attention to myself. What a fantastic story to start my day!
The 1st counselor in our bishopric asked me, out of rank curiosity, "So where DO you get your humor?" And I had to think. THis is what I came up with,
"While on my mission, one of my companions told me about the funniest thing that ever happened in her family. Her brother put on red pj's, sat in the middle of the room and announced, "I'm a tomato!" And they all laughed for hours.
In my house, my brothers said, at the family dinner table, "Wanna see som'n?" And we said, "Yah, sure."
One brother took a gulp of milk and laid on the floor, while the other whistled the huge old english sheep dog, "Get a drink Cros!" and we all watched as the dog licked the milk out of my brothers mouth.
He had to swallow said milk because he was laughing/grossed out/laying down, and we were just *AH!* AMUSED! Grossed out, yes, but AMUSED! And Logan's comment afterwards just spurred us on to hilarious laughter, "his tongue feels like SAND PAPER!" EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!
So, that is what you have to compete with in the Nielsen family. Good job Jack, you are truly one of us. Reagan, you are bonkers nuts to suggest a game where the right answer gets you a splash of water in the face, and my nephews are true Nielsen's to want to play.
"I'm a tomato!"
LOL! Brent came home from work and told me I HAD to check in on your blog. So glad I did!
HAHAHAHAHA!!! I had the luxury of hearing this story straight from you, but loved it the second time around just as much. LOVED that Lis!!
Don't worry that your house is the only house where this happens. My girls tell just as many potty jokes as the boy's do. I can't tell you how many nights we have sat around, laughing, re-telling the kids poop stories from when they were little. We have some good ones!
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